Having the life and practice you want: Removing Tolerations – Step One
We humans have sure learned how to tolerate a lot! We put up with, accept, take on and are dragged down by people’s (and our patients’) behavior, situation, unmet needs, crossed boundaries, unfinished business, frustrations, problems, and even our own behavior.
Do you have to do anything about them? No, not really. Just becoming aware of, and articulating them, will bring them to the forefront of your awareness and you’ll naturally start handling, eliminating, fixing, growing through, and resolving these tolerations. Sounds daunting? Not really! One step at a time.
- Having tolerations keeps you from enjoying your life and practice.
- Every toleration is fixable!
- As you fix each one, you life and practice becomes easier.
- Maintaining tolerations is avoiding the “elephant on the rug”.
- Learning how to get rid of and not take on tolerations is just a skill you can learn.
- You’ve got better things to do than to tolerate!
Often, we’re taught not to complain, that life is difficult, practicing dentistry is hard, not to rock the boat, to go along with others, to be grateful for what we have and to be understanding. Although not necessarily bad advice, we can still stop tolerating what is bothering us.
Tolerating Gives Us Energy
- When we put up with something, it causes friction. That friction heats up our life. It gives us energy.
- As we raise our standards and improve our quality of life, we tolerate less.
- To stop tolerating takes faith. And it does involve risk.
- A new, cleaner and perhaps more boring energy source will be used to get through the day.
Ask yourself . . .
- Why do I have tolerations in my life? How do they really work for me?
- Am I ready to find another source of energy? How do I know I am?
- What would it mean to have no tolerations?
Benefits of being Toleration-Free
- You will stop wasting your life, trying to manage situations that shouldn’t be there in the first place.
- You will have more energy to devote to the quality of your life.
- You will grow more quickly because you are not distracted or weighted down with tolerations.
- You will upgrade your community and spend time only with easy, fulfilling people.
- You will be a model for your family and friends as to what’s possible for them in this area.
When a person, has stopped tolerating
- They are happier, more fun to be around.
- They have extra energy to express their values vs. their egos.
- They “step-over” nothing.
What happens when one does tolerate
- They are their work becomes mediocre; people are tired.
- Natural creativity is squashed.
The 10 Steps to a Toleration-Free Life
- Get that putting up with things is good for no one.
- Make a list of 10 things you are tolerating at home. (For example, closets unorganized, messes, carpet needs shampooing, walls need paint, mortgage is too high, geographic location, etc.)
- Make the requests/take the actions to eliminate these items.
- Make a list of 10 things you are tolerating in your practice. (For example, an under-performing employee, doing procedures you don’t want to do, stressed out, inadequate training, and more)
- Make requests/take the actions to eliminate these items.
- Get that you are getting negative energy (not positive, uplifting energy) by not eliminating these tolerations.
- Be willing and committed to being toleration-free.
- Stop complaining; instead, make a strong request!
- Invest money to handle chores/tasks which pain you or that you just don’t have the time or interest to do.
- Do all of the above again after you’ve done them once!
CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve just begun to strengthen your skill of not tolerating. This skill gets stronger and easier to use the more you recognize how you put up with and then grow into how little you are willing to put up with. The key here is to put up with less and less, and be able to afford the consequences (benefits!) of this toleration-free lifestyle and practice