Dr. Don Deems, the Dentist's Coach - Free Newsletter: Conflict's Magic

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Conflict's Magic - Part 2
March 31, 2009

Last month we looked at two situations where conflict existed, and some options were given to you as possible solutions

For review, here were the situations:

Situation One

Susan has just been hired as your new chairside assistant. She's had a lot of experience, and you have high hopes that her experience and enthusiasm will spur your existing team members on.

The first two weeks go pretty smoothly, but by the end of the third week, another assistant in your practice comes to you at the end of the day, wanting to talk things over with you. She's upset that Susan is not pulling her weight, and she's irritated that Susan is always asking her where everything is. Further, the rest of the staff seems to be getting agitated, too, as you've noticed that normally everyone eats lunch together, but lately everyone has been dispersing at lunchtime.

Situation Two

Amy has been a hygienist in your practice for over a decade. She's a steady performer, but the past several months she seems to just be going through the paces of everyday work. You've noticed her production has been dropping, and when you've asked her about it, she says "it's just been the mix of patients who've come in lately". You know better, because she's never been under-performing for this length of time.

Five Ineffective Approaches to Conflict Resolution

According to Dudley Weeks, Ph.D., author of The Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution, resolutions to conflict generally fall into five categories. Let's look at each of these categories and relate them to our dental office situations.

The first popular solution is "The Conquest Approach", which is characterized by someone scoring a victory, defeating the opponent, or proving how wrong the other party is and how right you are. Essentially, the person using the conquest approach attempts to weaken or lessen the other party and this win the conflict.

The second popular solution is "The Avoidance Approach", which is characterized by believing that the conflicts will just go away if we pretend they don't exist. This approach can be rather subtle, and there's no doubt how seductive it is. Nevertheless, the conflict still remains.

Third, "The Bargaining Approach" is quite popular with most people - you give me this and I'll give you that. But does it resolve the conflict in a meaningful way? Not hardly.

"The Band-Aid Approach" is perhaps the most popular in dental offices because it is a quick-fix approach - something we as health care providers are notorious for. Band-Aids seldom fix a problem long term, and usually end up making matters worse.

Lastly, "The Role Player Approach" is characterized by the person standing behind their role as a way to justify their solution to the conflict. This approach often makes conflicts much, much worse later on because the needs of the other person were not considered and problems were not resolved.

Using these 5 ineffective solutions, can you match up which ones are which?

From Situation 1:

1. Tell your assistant not to worry about it; she's just new and is trying to figure out her place in the practice.
2. Suggest to your assistant that she go work it out with Susan; you're too busy for things like this, and she should be able to work it out.
3. Go to Susan and tell her that you need her to be more involved in the practice, and for that, you'll increase her pay by 10%.
4. Tell your assistant you'll hire another assistant to help with the workload.
5. Explain to your assistant that we're all a team and she needs to quit complaining; she has a job to do, and by not helping out, she's a part of the problem.

From Situation 2:

1. Meet with Amy again and tell her that if her production doesn't return to a certain level, that you will have to cut her hours.
2. Talk to the front office and tell them to make sure Amy's schedule stays booked.
3. Make a deal with Amy: she brings her production back up, and you'll increase her compensation by another 5%.
4. You've already met with her once, so she understands you're paying attention to her performance. Just let things ride for another few months.
5. Start interviewing for a new hygienist; that will get her attention!

Make it Personal

Identify 3 conflicts in your practice right now, whether you're involved in them or not. Write down the approaches used in trying to resolve these conflicts and see if you can pick out which of the above approaches are being currently used.

Next month, I'll discuss effective conflict resolution and how you can implement it in your practice.

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