Dr. Don Deems, the Dentist's Coach - Free Newsletter: <span style="font-weight:bold;">Rescuer, Persecutor, Victim:</span> 7 Recommendations for Integrating the New Employee

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Rescuer, Persecutor, Victim: 7 Recommendations for Integrating the New Employee
June 05, 2007

Sally was hired during a time when you really needed someone. You were so glad she interviewed with you! She had a little experience, was "bright-eyed and bushy-tailed", and you felt she would work out fine in your practice. The first few weeks were pretty good; she did the majority of tasks you needed her to do with little direction, and she has worked well getting along with her new teammates. She's pleasant and eager to please everyone, including you.

So, you tend to overlook a few things she's not doing very well, sometimes asking other employees to take care of those tasks for her. You have even personally taken care of several things you have wanted her to do. It irritates you, but you brush it off, attributing it to her newness and inexperience. Things are otherwise going nicely, and she seems to be happy at her job, so you dismiss that irritating little feeling.

A few months pass, and you're still doing many of the tasks you thought she would be doing now. You've also noticed a few disgruntled staff members talking among themselves, the hushed conversation dissolving when you notice them. In fact, you too are getting a little bit disgruntled, even downright frustrated, and you fight to hold back your frustration.

Finally you find yourself one day reacting to her inability to complete a task you would have thought she had learned by now. You nearly blow up, doing your best not to lose your temper; you feel totally frustrated with her inability to perform her job at the level you've expected. You regain your composure, and ask her to step in your office. You tell her you'd like to visit with her about her job.

With some curiosity, fear, and bewilderment, she comes into your office and sits down. She looks worried. You smile, and start. "Sally, I want to talk with you about your job performance ." As you continue, Sally gets more uneasy by the moment. There are flashes of confusion, frustration, and defensiveness that come across her face, and soon she's on the verge of tears, so you stop. You feel bad that this new employee has almost been reduced to tears, and you wonder what went wrong. How could she not have seen what she wasn't getting done? Did she think she was really doing a great job? How could she not have noticed everyone, including you, was picking up the slack?

The Rescuer

Unfortunately, you've unknowingly been playing the Rescuer by not only doing some of her tasks for her, but by asking other staff members to do the same. You didn't see what you were doing; you thought you were just helping that new employee - that "bright-eyed, bushy-tailed" one - get things done and learn the tasks you wanted her to know. In essence, you were rescuing her by either directly doing the things you wanted her to do, or by asking others to do them. You enabled her to go merrily on her way, thinking all was going well, by never sitting down with her to outline the tasks you expected her to perform, avoiding giving her feedback, and not spending the time to train her to complete the tasks you hired her to complete.

Your staff played along with you, rescuing her as well, although they weren't so quiet about it. No one on your team chose to speak up to her either, opting instead for talking to each other about their frustrations.

The Persecutor and the Victim

Rescuers become Persecutors at some point in time.

You became the Persecutor when you brought her into your office and laid down your litany of frustrations, concerns, and disappointments. By becoming her Persecutor, you've singled her out and made her feel unworthy, uncertain, and incompetent. She's not even sure now of what she's doing - or even if she wants to continue to work for you. She had no clue there were so many problems. She has become the Victim. For sure, she played into this drama, but not to the extent that you and your team has.

The next day or sometime soon thereafter, she calls in sick, so you use the opportunity to meet with your team. Unaware that you're about to open up a can of worms, you ask the team how they feel about Sally's performance. Your other staff members, whose "fuses" are shorter than yours, were getting angered long before you were. They feel angry that you've been so indulgent of her inadequacies. They're tired of the extra chores you have them do. In many ways, they were clearer than you that your new team member was going to have to pull her weight to be a member of the team - and it wasn't okay for it to take forever! They were willing to help out in the beginning because everyone needs time to learn a new position. They even continued to help her out because you asked them to, but it was getting old, so they began expressing their displeasure among themselves. Knowing that you didn't like gossiping, they quickly hushed and didn't speak up about the problem.

Now a division has been created which may be too large to overcome. Will good feelings ever be restored? Can trust be created? How will the team be able to re-welcome her into the group and start anew? Is anything possible, or is it beyond help?

Seven Recommendations

A recipe for success? Sorry, there's no recipe. Most likely, you'll lose that team member in the long run, and maybe even one more who was either sympathetic to what happened to that new team member, or who they themselves were questioning their own abilities and contribution to the team. So what can you do to avoid losing anyone, and restore the trusting relationship between employer and employee?

Here are a few recommendations for your consideration. You'll certainly see that the situation could have been more easily prevented than repaired.

Recommendation #1: When you hire a new employee, make absolutely sure he or she understands the duties required of them. Avoid letting them become a Victim from the start.

Recommendation #2: Meet regularly with them throughout the early stages of their employment with you to answer their questions, provide feedback, and discuss areas that need improvement. Again, help avoid them becoming the Victim - and you the Rescuer!

Recommendation #3: Avoid rescuing or enabling the employee by allowing time and energy for them to learn their tasks, receive training, and learning what is expected of them. Because the majority of dental practices are small, solo businesses, we need each person performing their job fully as quickly as possible. It's just too easy to not take the time for training and giving them feedback. New employees want feedback, so don't let them down!

Recommendation #4: Be open, clear, and honest with that new employee from Day One. Holding back your feelings, opinions, and constructive comments about their effectiveness will only lead you to one day becoming their Persecutor. Additionally, you will breed mistrust and harbor hidden agendas. Ultimately there may be no opportunity for repair of the relationship.

Recommendation #5: Never discuss your displeasure of an employee's performance with another member of the team, and avoid team discussions which nearly always turn into a lynch mob. Most of us wouldn't do this, but it only takes one slip from your mouth in a moment of weakness to cause the walls to come tumbling down. Don't let it happen.

Recommendation #6: Never hire a new employee who you can't be 100% committed to their success. Quite simply, most new employees will fail without 100% support and commitment from you AND your team; the odds are too stacked against them. Hiring them then sitting back to see how they perform almost always denies their success.

Recommendation #7: Never hire an employee you feel won't eventually become a '10' at their position. You'll find yourself rescuing, and eventually, you-know-what!

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