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Seeing Your Path Clear
March 12, 2007
There isn't a person I talk with that doesn't struggle with seeing a situation clearly, and I don't exclude myself!
No doubt, if any of us could see every situation clearly, it would generally be easy to make the best decision. We've all had those experiences where it was so easy to see the solution for someone, yet they were mired in confusion, emotions, and oftentimes their own ego, and it was practically impossible for them to take any action whatsoever. It happens a lot, even to those who are aware of all of the disillusions that confuse and frustrate us.
There truly is an art of framing a situation, to understand the context of what's going on. Let's look at some of the tools you can develop as you begin to learn to frame a situation.
1. Get your arms around it. Ask lots of questions; find out what you know you need to know. Even ask the person to tell you what you should be asking about and you're not. When we are able to get our arms around a situation, it generally becomes easier to begin finding our way.
2. Trust your intuition. Malcolm Gladwell wrote a wonderful book, entitled Blink, about intuition, what it is, when to use it, and when not to. In response, Michael LeGault wrote a book, entitled Think!, encouraging us to think and not just act on intuition and emotion. Both are worthy of reading. My suggestion: listen to your gut - and sleep on it - before proceeding. And read the books.
3. Examine the payoffs and consequences for either choice. It's not necessarily about seeing which has more payoffs or less consequences, because all payoffs and consequences are not created equal. Rather, being aware that there are both of these for any situation is imperative. For example, the cost of freedom may be high, but very worthwhile.
4. Listen to your heart. How many times have you said to yourself "I KNEW that would happen?" Of course, you meant you knew in your heart something would happen, yet you let yourself talk yourself out of doing something. Stop it.
5. Act swiftly only if absolutely necessary. It's amazing what a night of sleep will do. How many times have you gone to sleep disturbed about something, only to wake up feeling totally different about the situation? Remember - slow down.
6. Ask others who have no attachment to the situation. Getting our ego out of the way is a lifelong challenge. Many times just seeing it is impossible. We all have egos, and yours will cause you grief just as mine has. For all of us, we see plenty of examples day to day about this very problem. By soliciting the assistance of those around us - personally or professionally - we can often see things in a clearer light.
7. Seek to understand, not to be understood. We've all heard that phrase before, but how often do we follow it? Be interested in others' feelings, ideas, and concerns; see it through their eyes. Use your communication skills, such as active listening, to relate back to them what you're hearing. There'll be ample time to make your statement. Surprisingly, you may discover you don't even need to make one!
Seeing your path clear can be learned; it's a skill you can acquire. You'll notice that many of these skills involve being quiet, listening to others, listening to yourself, listening to your heart. As one of my favorite authors, Ram Dass said, "The quieter you become, the more you can hear."
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