Dr. Don Deems, the Dentist's Coach - Free Newsletter: You're Censoring Yourself . Again ... What will THIS year hold for you because of it?

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You're Censoring Yourself . Again ... What will THIS year hold for you because of it?
January 09, 2007

As a presenter of a workshop for small or large groups, I love to shake people out of their early-morning-glazed-over look or even an appearance of non-engagement about the subject matter over which we are meeting that day.

Now I know that each of you know what I'm talking about. You've attended a program or workshop with less-than-ideal enthusiasm, perhaps for a multitude of reasons. It happens to us all. Our intentions were good (unless we really didn't have a choice). And, the lessons were before us. Perhaps that day the student was ready, perhaps the student was not .

Shaking people out of their current reality is one of the biggest challenges I face. Not getting caught in my own ideas and thoughts is another! (Ahhh, the mind - such a terrible thing!) We all have been caught up in our own drama at one time or another. Most of the time, it's our ego taking over, not letting us see what's going on. Sometimes it's expectations of others, doing what we think we should do. Other times it may be that we're just on autopilot, not paying attention to anything, choosing instead to "zone out" and retreat to some place of safety - even if it's in a crowded meeting hall or in the midst of an intimate conversation.

One of the first things I take liberty to do is to engage participants (or coaching clients) in a game of non-censoring. It's a way to disengage our mind, and hopefully, our ego. For example, there's a fun little game called "Invisible Balls" where I ask the group to stand up and move into a large circle. I then instruct them to toss an "invisible ball" to someone in the circle, making any sound they want as they throw it. The participant catching the ball has to also make a sound. As you might guess, the ball-tossing goes v-e-r-y s-lo-w-l-y at first. You can just see minds and egos at play, the extreme hesitation, the nervous giggles, either avoiding trying to look embarrassed, coming up with something original, or trying to deliver a sound that has meaning (to them?). After a while - sometimes longer than others - the pace picks up when participants realize they can let loose. At that point, the fun begins, and we add more and more balls into the tossing unless everyone's laughing. (Did I say FUN? Hmmm ...)

What just happened? Since I created that "helicopter view" for you, I know you see it.

Taking how we censor ourselves and applying it to the New Year, I have one VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION to ask you, and I ask that you give it strong consideration.

What are you censoring in your life right now - thoughts, feelings, and actions - that hold you back from what you really want to experience in the New Year?

Forget the resolutions; they don't work for long. Forget the old "setting goals" solution; things change too often. Forget not setting goals, either! (No, I'm not crazy.) Instead, ask yourself about all the things you are not giving yourself permission to feel, experience, and connect with in your life. How is this holding you back from what you really want? For some of us, this may be the last year of our life. Could it be yours? Could it be mine? Have you been holding back all these years? For what purpose?

Perhaps more importantly, how could you NOT CENSOR yourself, NOT create chaos, and yet BE TRUTHFUL to your feelings, even in the most mundane and day-to-day activities, even in situations where if you REALLY spoke your "mind" (oops - there's that word again ...) you might create movement? What would that bring upon you? Are you not willing to take that risk?

And perhaps it is even more poignant to ask you what are not giving yourself PERMISSION for in the New Year? You know what it is; say it to yourself; set yourself on a path of feeling freedom and aliveness.

NOW is the time to be honest with yourself, to stop censoring, to open yourself to the possibilities that your life has to offer, to be present for the lessons and gifts that are being offered to you. NOW is the time to experience the LIFE you have been granted.

2007 is YOUR YEAR!

How do you want to experience the coming year, as if it were your last?

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