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BE the Person
August 23, 2006

In a time when being "victim" in our culture is at an all-time high, it's time for each of us to pay attention to how we have been lulled into participating in this life-deadening activity.

What's a "victim"? The context of which I'm speaking about being a victim is blaming everyone and everything else in our lives for whatever situation we find ourselves in. For example, blaming the government . blaming our spouses . blaming the school administration . blaming the Muslims . blaming the economy. Have you ever talked to someone that all they wanted to do was blame, blame, blame? Did you find yourself chiming in just a little, participating in this activity?

When we start looking outside ourselves for answers as well as for blame, we diminish who we are. We become powerless, weak, and fragile. We become subject to the slightest disruption in our world, and become easily overwhelmed. Soon we find ourselves in the company of everyone else doing the same. We get caught up in the sensationalism of the media. We begin making choices which are life-deadening instead of life-enriching. Our energy for living becomes negative events rather than positive ones. We become one of those people we hang around with who do nothing but blame and complain about everything in life.

Do you take responsibility for whatever happens in your life? Yes, for WHATEVER happens, including someone running into you, your business downturn (or upturn), or a failing relationship? There is a reason that everything happens, although we are sometimes blind to it - at least temporarily so. Perhaps that is why later in life we develop "wisdom".

On a simpler note, do you admire someone who is weak, blames others, and is negative? Do you enjoy being around them? For me, it's not fun, and usually I do anything I can to get away from them as quickly as possible. If I can't escape from their negativity, I immediately set boundaries with them. I don't want the negativity affecting my own life, so I have to stand up for who I am. As a leader of a business, are the conversations that your staff members have with each other empowering, uplifting, and positive? Is your communication to them the same? My suggestion: put a moratorium for one entire day about all negative, self-defeating, blaming conversation. Encourage them to continue the moratorium for a full 24 hours, and then ask them the next day what it was like. No doubt, many of them will have trouble not being negative. Regardless, they will have a heightened awareness of their own words and actions, and for that, they will never be the same - unless they choose to be. I encourage you to support them wherever they are in the awareness process.

For you, who will you be? Will you be the person that people want to be around? Will you be the person someone wants to do business with? Will you live your life with aliveness, integrity, and self-responsibility? What type of leader will you be?

I encourage you to BE the person you would want to be associated with, to do business with, to enjoy life with.

"We must be the change we wish to see in the world." - Ghandi

 

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