Dr. Don Deems, the Dentist's Coach - Free Newsletter: If I Asked You To Make A List .

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If I Asked You To Make A List .
July 30, 2006

If I asked you to make a list of everything that stresses you in your life, how many pages long would that be?

More books have been written, more money has been made, and more time has been spent over trying to devise quick ways to help people deal with stress, it's no wonder we have become sick and tired of hearing about it. It's also no wonder that we have a health crisis of cancer, high blood pressure, diabetes, emotional illness, and a myriad of other stress-related illnesses and diseases.

The simple truth is, we are bombarded by stress all day long, unless we go to the woods of Idaho and get lost. There are the obvious sources of stress from our work - bills, staff, and patients, not enough time . that list can be quite long. And then there's the stress of living in our culture. If you read the newspaper, do you leave feeling better about the world? What about watching news? Do you know that studies show that watching news while you eat actually interferes with digestion and how your body utilizes the food? Not good. How many of you dentists out there see tons of problems related to bruxism these days? Do you feel it is because of stress that so many people are clenching their teeth, or do you think everyone's' bites have just "gotten off"?

What about other stressors in our life? Tasks, chores, to-do lists that have gone undone; relationships that need repair; living conditions; money? And then there's the more subtle stressors, like the foods we eat and the effect it has on our body, our energy, and our emotions.

There's no doubt that nearly all of us have become masters at dealing with stress - otherwise, we wouldn't be here, most likely. But, are we happier and healthier because of our ability to cope? Personally, I've dealt with stress in many ways - some unhealthy, some healthy. I'll bet you've done or are doing the same. And, I have had my share of stress-related maladies because of it.

My favorite way to deal with stress was to shut down emotionally. If I could minimize whatever was stressing me, I could go on. Then I tried being angry. If I could get angry enough, maybe I could either get my way or release all the frustrations and things would be OK. That didn't work, so what if I just numbed myself? Of course, it was a less culturally-approved method, but it gave short-term relief, in a way. Then I tried fantasy. What if I could just leave it all and live in the woods of Idaho? Very tempting, and the opportunity came, but it don't happen (thank goodness). Yes, there were more, but there's no need to bore you.

I'll give you my Top Ten ways to handle stress, and see what you think. I challenge you to incorporate as many of them as possible in your life. Not only will you feel better, you'll affect everyone around you, and you might even save someone's life!

1. Admit that you will always be affected by stress. It's just a fact. Examine your life for the obvious and not-so-obvious sources of stress. You'll need to know what they are to make the best choices for what to do about them.
2. Eat right. Food is a drug; what you eat, how it is prepared, and when you eat it affect you in every way, including emotionally and mentally. Read one or more of the following books: The Schwarzbein Principle by Diana Schwarzbein, MD; The Metabolic Typing Diet by William Wolcott and Trish Fahey; The Healing Power of Whole Foods by Beth Loiselle; Eat, Move, and Be Healthy by Paul Chek. With the incredible plethora of nutritional information out there, it's almost impossible to chart a course for yourself. You can't go wrong with any of these books.
3. Practice healthy, stress-relieving activities. For some, sitting still is more stressful than not, so find activities that are stress-relieving to you. It's been proven that taking a 30 minute walk each day is as effective at dealing with depression as any medication on the market today. Purchase CDs that have guided imagery, meditations, or peaceful music on them, and listen to them daily. Practice deep breathing 10 minutes each day; I recommend The Breathing Box by Gay Hendricks. If you like meditation, take meditation training or read any of several books about meditation, especially ones from Jon Kabat-Zinn. Consider joining a yoga studio to learn basic yoga practices - you'll enjoy the physical and spiritual aspects of yoga. Get a massage every week, if possible. The power of human touch is incredible, and working out tired, tense muscles and moving around lymphatic fluids will help you physically, too. Take a RELAXING vacation - not one filled with so many things to do that you come home exhausted.
4. Heal emotional pain. If you have unhealed emotional wounds, it'll be hard for you to get beyond them and start experiencing true freedom in life. Work with a therapist or psychologist to address these issues; otherwise, they'll keep showing up every time a stressor shows up, and you'll likely cultivate more pain.
5. Grow yourself spiritually. If church does it for you, then make going to church a weekly routine. Some enjoy a daily meditation and prayers. Consider reading any of thousands of books available on this topic; see the "Reading Room" on my web site for some excellent choices. No matter what, don't wait until you're near death to start trying to have a spiritual life. You'll discover you've been missing out all along.
6. Learn how to communicate your thoughts and feelings. I know this sounds ridiculous, but the author of Radical Honesty (Brad Blanton) states that the sole cause of stress in our life is our inability to tell the truth. Do you tell the truth to those around you how you feel? Do you communicate openly? What are the things that you withhold from saying to your spouse, staff, or friend? What effects do this have on your life and your relationship with them? Everything in life is resolvable with the right conversation. Period.
7. Connect to your heart. The amount of information that is being uncovered - or perhaps rediscovered! - about the intelligence of the heart is mind-boggling. For starters, go to www.heartmath.com and read everything you can. I recommend you purchase their software and hardware and practice their recommendations at least 10 minutes each day. Also, read The Heart's Code by Paul Pearsall. Your life will never be the same.
8. Get 8 hours of sleep each night. I used to subscribe to the belief that we didn't need that much, but after much investigation, what your mother told you was right. You must have time for repair, healing (not just physically, but emotionally), and relaxation. Move the TV out of the bedroom, move the books away from the nightstand, and use the bedroom for rest only (or "restful" activities.)
9. Reduce all sources of stress as much as possible. Quit watching the news, quit reading the paper, and quit participating in negative conversations with family and friends. Throw out off the trashy magazines like People, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, Vogue, GQ, and a whole other host of magazines that remind you of all the things you can't be, and instead substitute them with life-empowering ideas, such as Real Simple, The Utne Reader, The Yoga Journal, and dozens of others (although sometimes hard to find). If you're really radical, get rid of the TVs!
10. Surround yourself with like-minded people who are working towards a healthy, stress-free life. Don't spend time with people who live their life based on negativity, always complaining, never happy, etc. Your mother always told you to be careful who you hung out with! You will find - no matter where you live - other health conscious people who will support you, listen to you, and share with you their own discoveries and successes. No more stinkin' thinkin'!

I wish you the best in your quest for a life filled with health, happiness, and success!

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