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Communication Breakdown
December 27, 2005
All right, I have a confession to make: I haven't always been the excellent communicator you think I might be.
There. It's out.
Graduating with many honors from dental school nearly 20 years ago, I was cocky; I thought I had this dentist thing licked. After all, I had learned everything I needed to be a successful dentist. I couldn't wait to get started in the real world!
Eight years later, I was being sued over a failed filling, of all things! I felt better as my attorney told me, "You didn't do anything wrong".
Well, she was wrong. I had violated my patient's trust, I had put my interests first, I was right without any possibility of being wrong, and above all, I had failed miserably at developing a relationship that could weather failed treatment attempts or miscommunications or billing errors or any other number of things that can go wrong when you interact and transact with people.
For whatever reason, most of us feel inadequate when it comes to having tell-your-truth, open-your-heart conversations. Is it because we feel that the other person might be trying to control us or the outcome? Are there "ulterior motives" at play? Is the other person being honest? Might we be exposing a part of ourselves we'd rather someone not see? Are we making ourselves vulnerable?
If you've had communication breakdowns, you're not alone. Communication and relationship professionals, such as psychologists, therapists, and coaches, often make blunders with the many aspects of relating and communicating.
Become a lifelong student of communication
We, as dentists, often struggle blindly, not even knowing we aren't very good communicators. Certainly our dental education had little time for these non-clinical concerns. Should we, too, become lifelong students of the communicating and relating process? Certainly! And, I would wager a hefty bet to say that the degree to which you can be an excellent communicator will do more to determine your success than any technical course you might take or any other new skill you might learn!
What would it take to be a great communicator? Work with these "7 Steps to Being a Great Communicator" and enjoy the benefits!
1. Make becoming a great communicator a personal and professional commitment. Proclaim it! Ask family, friends, and your staff for feedback. And, leave your ego behind; it won't help you.
2. Hire a coach or consultant who themselves are great communicators AND great teachers. Just because a person is a coach or a consultant doesn't mean that communication is their forte. Collaborate and co-develop a program tailored to your needs and your current style of communication.
3. Browse the bookstore or Internet for books on becoming a great communicator. There are many books available, including self-instruction and self-paced books. Pick out a few that pique your current interest.
4. Practice, practice, practice. Truly, the only way you'll become a great communicator is to do it. You'll fall down and fail miserably at times, but haven't we all? Consider videotaping or audio taping yourself "in action", then watch/listen to them. It may be painful at first, but you'll learn quickly! Ask for feedback from others as they watch/listen with you.
5. Grow yourself. A large part of developing your ability to communicate is also your ability to understand people and yourself. The greater awareness you can develop about your actions, thoughts, feelings, values, and needs, the better equipped you'll be to relate in more meaningful ways with people.
6. Become a communication leader. Great communication must be the cornerstone of any health care practice. This may require a shift in your current management techniques, office policies, training programs, protocols, and the like. Model for your staff your newly learned communication skills at staff meetings, patient interviews, and training sessions. Work with your staff at their level of development, and make it a goal for them to become better communicators. When you can teach it, you'll learn it even better.
7. Enroll in coaching, improvisation, and/or speaking classes. Get involved with like-minded individuals who are looking to improve their own communication skills.
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