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Being Awake
November 21, 2005
Recently I had dinner with several friends - and a few others I had just met. We started dinner at the restaurant rather late, all of us having had a busy evening prior. We ordered dinner, enjoyed the food, and as the conversation continued, I excused myself to the restroom. On the way back, I decided I would pay for dinner for everyone - a kind gesture. I stopped by the waiter's station and paid for the dinner. When I arrived at the table, the conversation continued, and knowing I had a very busy day the next day and how tired I was, I excused myself from the table, bidding them all a good night. I didn't mention that I had paid for dinner; there was no need to feed my ego.
Over the next several encounters with a few of the people who sat at the table that night, not one word was mentioned about that dinner. My ego begged me to ask them "Don't you know who paid for that dinner the other night? Don't you care to ask?" I struggled with wanting the attention, with wanting thanks, with wanting to be acknowledged for my generosity, yet I kept my silence.
The attention my ego wanted would not come.
So, what's the lesson here? Perhaps there are several, but the one I want to point out most of all is the act of living consciously, because it is the one that has the most impact.
Are you aware of what others around you are feeling? Are you in touch with what your body is telling you during times of stress, excitement, jubilation, sadness? Are you mindful of the impact of what you say and do and how it affects the people around you? Are you living your life in this moment in time, not thinking about the past or the future which you cannot do anything about?
I could say that the people around the dinner table that night just didn't care, which is probably not true; they are wonderful people. I could say that they thought the owner of the restaurant was just being generous that evening and offered the meal "on the house". And, given the time, I could come up with a lot more rationalizations about why nobody cared to find out who paid for the dinner and then thanked them.
But the point is that no one at that table that night did care enough to track down the generous person and offer their gratitude. No one was mindful of the moment, no one was living consciously. No one was awake.
Be awake. Notice everything around you. Listen to your breath, feel your heart beat. Acknowledge the connection you have with each person you come in contact with. Be curious and pay attention to each moment. The rewards for doing so are great and immeasurable, and your life will be fuller and richer for doing so.
As we come into this holiday season, it is ever so important to be mindful of yourself and others around you. Live each moment in the present, for in the next moment it will be gone. Acknowledge the host of feelings that come with a busy holiday season and be mindful of the variety of ways it affects people around you - and how it affects you.
Your holiday season will never be the same, and neither will your life.
Namaste.
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