Dr. Don Deems, the Dentist's Coach - Free Newsletter: To the Breaking Point

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To the Breaking Point
July 26, 2005

Life getting too full? Not enough time to get everything done? Nowhere to squeeze another thing to do into your Day Timer?

Time to look at your life and where you're going!

There are several major areas that most people struggle with concerning time management. And no, it's not how to cram 48 hours into 24, or just how to organize your day. From my experience, here's what's behind all these time management issues, and what you can do about them to move toward freedom, spontaneity, and aliveness!

The first area is to directly address what we tolerate, or what can be called "tolerations". Tolerations eat up our time and don't allow us the opportunity to respond to life's challenges and unexpected events; they're like a cloud hanging over our head. When I ask someone to make a list of what they're putting up with at the office, at home, with family, friends, and so forth, once they make a list of 10 or 20 things, they'll often be able to go to list over 100 items! Once the door has been opened up to allow the person to express all of the things in their life that drags them down, that irritates or upsets them, that makes them feel less-than-alive, there usually is a flood that spills out. What can you do about what you put up with? First, simply make a list of what you're putting up with. (Just doing so you'll naturally begin thinking about how you can solve the problems.) Second, start eliminating what you tolerate, beginning with the easy ones first and working your way "up". Consider hiring someone to take care of the items or investing some money in needed equipment, materials, or services to solve the problems. Third, get that by putting up with these tolerations, you rob yourself of freedom, spontaneity, and aliveness. Lastly, don't take on new tolerations. If you feel something coming on that needs addressing, do it promptly. Don't add even one more thing to your list!

The second is stopping the urge to over-commit ... not being able to say no. Knowing what's important to you, then orienting your life around it will help you discern what keeps you on the path of feeling alive and free versus overwhelming and deadening. Its' easy to get caught in the trap of too many obligations. No explanations are needed; just politely decline the offer.

The third is something we're already familar with: getting organized and prioritizing your day and tasks. Most professionals and business owners have substantial demands placed on them. There's several ways to deal with the scheduling challenges. Consider hiring a personal assistant or a professional organizer (yes, there is a National Association of Professional Organizers!). Or, try using an electronic planner, such as a Pocket PC or Palm. Being able to keep all of your important dates and contacts in one area helps tremendously. Keeping handwritten notes which are easily lost or misplaced and can get easily cluttered can work for some, but once you make the switch to "digital", you'll never want to to back to hadnwritten. If you're near your computer often, use one of a variety of organizing software programs available, such as Outlook, ACT!, GoldMine, or others. In the very least, get a Day Timer or Franklin Planner to help you keep track of your obligations and not over-commit. Follow Steven Covery's advice of distinguishing which tasks are important, urgent, both, or neither. If you think everything is important and urgent, think again!

The fourth is perhaps the most important and biggest work, however! I've already eluded to it earlier: it's what's called Personal Foundation (PF). PF centers on these following components:

Clearing Unresolved Matters
Restoring Your Integrity
Getting All of Your Needs Met
Extending Your Boundaries
Raising Your Personal Standards
Eliminating What You Are Tolerating
Coming from Positives
Resolving Key Family Relationships
Developing A Supportive Community
Re-orienting Around Your Values

This type of work is perhaps the most useful and important part of personal and professional growth, as well as time management. As a coach, helping you develop a strong PF is at the heart of what I do. It's the engine that drives everything else. Once a person has a strong PF, there's no limit to what's possible. Problems melt, tolerations cease, abundance shows up, and aliveness rules the day.

And, you'll enjoy more freedom and less feeling of bondage to the demands of your schedule.

How can you regain control of your schedule and your life? What are you willing to do? Even more importantly, do you have a strong Personal Foundation to help you make the most of your day?

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