Dr. Don Deems, the Dentist's Coach - Free Newsletter: Victimitis . By Example

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Victimitis . By Example
June 02, 2005

Are you playing victim? As the leader, manager, parent, or any other role that you play in your life, either at work or at home, are you succumbing to blaming others, the economy, the President, or any others for what's going on in your life and business?

I was, and I couldn't believe it. How could I have been lulled into being a victim? I had actually convinced myself that I was doing everything I could to lead my business into prosperity, that I was doing everything possible. Yet, I noticed the decline. I knew something had to be done. I racked my brain. What was it that we could do better? More efficiently? More effectively? My answers came up: nothing, nothing, nothing. 'Everyone' says we are doing everything "right". Look at our awards. What about my training, my personal honors? Surely, it must not be me!

I began first by blaming the 9/11 crisis. Then the economy. Then President Bush. Then the insurance companies. Then my landlord. Then my wife. Then those that had tried to help me. No matter what, I couldn't see that what was happening was the result of what I was doing. It just couldn't be!

I was playing victim out of my own righteousness. Worse, I was playing lead victim for my staff!

We all have fallen prey to similar, if not the same situations. We begin by looking outside of ourselves for the answers, and when we don't find them, when we think we've done everything we can, we do what most people end up doing: blaming others. We have then become The Victim.

So, I have one simple coaching question for you this month: What are you playing victim to in your life?

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