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Previous article: Freedom From? Or, Freedom To?
Next article: Article about Dr. Deems appears in ADA News
The Wrong Tool
January 07, 2004
Hammers are great for putting in nails, even taking them out. If you want to break glass, it's useful for that, too. Hammers are used for lots of different situations where pounding on something is the task at hand. But, if you want to get a nut off of a bolt, hammers aren't very useful. In fact, it can get downright frustrating.
There's also this tool called a crescent wrench, a standard tool in most every handyman's tool chest. It has jaws which can open and close to grasp various sizes of nuts and bolts. If you've ever used one, you know that if it's not adjusted just right, you'll round off the corners of the nut, then you'll need the hammer to finish the job! Some have even used a crescent wrench in place of a hammer. (Not you, right?) If you've really been desperate, you might have even used the wrench to pry a lid off a can. Yes, it's a tool, and there's a task to do, but maybe the tool isn't suited for the task. Likewise, a crescent wrench is not the tool for every job.
In my dental office, I have lots of tools. I could prepare tooth for a crown with a slow speed handpiece (aren't I silly?), but wouldn't I be better off using my high speed? You get the picture.
I had this Personal Fantastic Life Tool called Resistance. It was useful for when I didn't want to change. It also gave me lots of traction for supporting my hostility, either turned inward or outward. Sometimes I could use it with projects like stubbornness, judgment, or righteousness. Resistance can be a great tool, but only when used for the right thing.
My Personal Fantastic Life Tool #2: Being Right. It's a great tool when choosing a parachute before you jump out of a plane at 10,000 feet. Used wrongly, Being Right can turn into Being Righteous. Being righteous means being right . with an added attitude that there's no other possibility for being wrong, or that there's any other way of seeing it. As a dentist, it's important I am "right" in the hundreds of decisions I make each day about my patients' dental health. Dentists and physicians alike are trained to be right; patients expect it. But Being Right is not the right tool for all situations. Being Righteous can even be deadly, in more ways than one. And me being Righteous about my dental treatment can get me in real trouble!
Fumbling through my tool chest a little more, I found this one tool that might challenge you: it's a life tool called Responsibility. I was very responsible. I was SO responsible, that I could also be responsible for everyone else. They didn't even have to be responsible for themselves. I could be responsible for them, and then I could use the Being Righteous tool to tell them why they were wrong, and the Resistance tool to support my Being Righteous. I was responsible for their happiness, health, and well-being. Multi-talented, I am. Responsibility, used in an appropriate manner, is a great tool; used inappropriately, it's very limiting to an abundant life.
My ALL-TIME FAVORITE is Control. Oh, how I love Control! With Control, I can have anything I want! I can tell people what to do, how to act. At one time I got so good with the Control tool that I was considered a Master Control-ler. (Move over, Sienfeld) I could use the Control tool in lots of ways: manipulation, withholding, sex, love, attention, money, worry. Oh, and don't forget guilt, the gift that keeps on giving. Need I go on? Ouch!
When I figured out that I had many tools that I was using incorrectly most of the time, it became clear to me that I needed an upgrade. A new set of tools and learning to use the old ones in an appropriate way helped me-and will help you-live your life's dreams in an enriching way.
What Personal Life Tools do you use in your practice? Are you using them appropriately? Are you getting the results you want with your staff? Your patients?
In coaching, I work with clients on tools for relationship . communication . and many more. Using the right tool in the right situation is a real key for success and fulfillment.
Coaching point: Are you due for a tool upgrade or re-allocation? Or, do you just need to add to your tool chest? Working with a coach will get you there faster, just like purchasing the right piece of dental equipment can help you produce outstanding dentistry.
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Next article: Article about Dr. Deems appears in ADA News
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