Dr. Don Deems, the Dentist's Coach - Free Newsletter: What do YOU want MOST in 2004?

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What do YOU want MOST in 2004?
December 22, 2003

IT'S YOUR CHOICE: WHAT DO YOU WANT MOST IN 2004?

If you're like me, near the end of every year, I begin thinking about what I would like to accomplish in the coming year. It's also one of the times that I reflect on what happened last year, how well things worked out, and what I'd like to see happen different in the coming year.

Used to, I would start by looking at unfinished business, such as incomplete projects, failed promises to myself and others, and resolutions I never kept. Yuck. I don't know why I did that, because I didn't really like it. It was an energy drain, and tainted the whole planning process for me.

When we do things like that, we repeatedly beat ourselves up over them because we didn't finish them as we promised ourselves or others. We then try to make it up in the coming year by "really committing" to do it "this time". Unfortunately, these energy drains sap our health, creativity, and aliveness . in essence, our enjoyment and experience of life!

Rampant in our way of living is the focus on things we didn't complete or on our failures we experience. More often than not, we overlook our successes and triumphs, from huge to very small. We drag ourselves down by not celebrating these successes. We focus on weaknesses, not our strengths.

One way to clean up the old, incomplete stuff before moving on to the New Year is to either complete the project or declare them complete! In many cases, maybe it's just time to move on. Moving on is a great tool in helping us get on with life . and letting us focus on new possibilities. No sense in dragging up the "whys" and "why nots" of what we didn't accomplish; we may never know why, anyway.

Alright, you're with me, and you've decided, "Heck, he's got a good point. Time to move on." Now what? Another 'New Year's Resolution'?

By definition, a resolution is something we are resolving against. Very negative! Have you noticed how when we resolve to not do something, we spend most of our time thinking about that?

For example, one of my regular annual resolutions was that I would not high fat content foods any more. Ever. (Oh, the smell and taste of bacon in the morning!!!) So, when I would get up and want breakfast, I think about my resolution to not high fat content foods, instead of my real goal to be a healthy eater. Then I either ate the bacon anyway and felt bad about doing it, or I ate plain oatmeal and hated the experience. Can you relate?

What resolutions have you made for this year? Are you willing to change them to positive statements, such as goals or intentions?

I propose you try something different this year. Instead of making a resolution, try setting a goal. No, better yet, make it an intention. Intentions allow you more freedom, more opportunity to try something else, to even change direction if need be. Sticking to a goal or promise that isn't working is not only an energy drain, it's a big waste of your life. Intentions are more likely to embody the essence of what you really were wanting to do in the first place, but maybe weren't quite sure how to state it or go about doing it.

Setting your intentions around your definition of success will not only be empowering in your life, but it will be void of the negativity, the self-defeating attitudes, the energy drains that usually come about with trying to measure up to someone else's definition of success.

So, what do you want most for next year? Make your intentions authentically you. Give yourself room to grow. Keep them short and sweet. Having trouble? Talk things over with a friend. Or better, a coach. It's valuable to have a provocative, challenging conversation with a trusted companion.

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